Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
