Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
