If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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