Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
