All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
