I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
