What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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