Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
