More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
