I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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