i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
A+ Viking dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
