I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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