I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
