come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
