around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
