She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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