Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
how drunk are you?
Several
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
