You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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