508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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