The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
