Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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