Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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