I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
