It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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