Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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