I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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