PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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