And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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