thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
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you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?