I am puke
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
where are you?
We left an ass print on the piano.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on