Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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