So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.