What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth