after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?