You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
