Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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