My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
