And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
there's paper in my vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize