Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
