She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
