I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
