I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
