im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize