Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
