You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
