Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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