Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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