I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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