I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize