she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I checked into jail on foursquare
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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