wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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