That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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