First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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