glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
