when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
