So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
