Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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