You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
