Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
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What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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