Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
