I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
