After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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