hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
