where am i from again
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
